why I go through Facebook friend-purges

To all those I have purged, I write:

Hello dear former-Facebook-friend--

Hope you're doing well; we haven't talked in a while. In fact, it's likely that I haven't even seen you for several years, or if I have, we don't recognize or pretend not to see each other. Or else we've just each changed so much, on our own, that we're no longer the same people who friended each other in the first place. Just think of it as falling gently out of love into a soft, gray feeling, except that of course, it's a little more jarring on Facebook.

Sorry; I mean no malice. It's just a sort of apathy, is all. Blame it on me, if you want.

So Facebook notifies me that you're currently in X location; I hope you enjoy it there. Maybe you've moved on, or I have, or we're just both no longer on the same Location page, so maybe we can let go and be free. Or perhaps the old adage about absence and the fondness in one's heart does ring true after all? Who knows?

Anyway, you may have noticed (or maybe you haven't, which gives me further reason to do this) that we're no longer Facebook friends. I know that really, in our 'way of doing things', it's very 'not PC'. Because you know, it's not official unless it's on Facebook.

Or in your case, not.

It's not that I don't like you, and it's not that I don't inherently care about you as a human being. I do, really, I do.

It's just that darlin', you're crowding out my Newsfeed and Friends page. It's nothing personal.

It's just that somehow, I don't think this is what Mark Zuckerberg had in mind when he introduced us to each other. Or maybe he did.

But I can't be bothered to read about your newest exploits, or the latest drama, or who you've been SuperPoked! by or received a Free Gift!!! from, or the newest application you added. I'd love to hear about it over lunch sometime, but clutter is clutter, and it's time for spring cleaning.

I know you understand, or else we wouldn't have gotten close enough for me to accept your Friend request in the first place. But don't worry; I'll still remember you, regardless of whether or not you show up on my Recently Updated! list. We had some good memories, and maybe one day we'll meet up again and make some new ones.

But for now, my profile is looking kinda clean, kinda pure, kinda tabula rasa, and it's kinda nice.

Anyway, best of luck; hope we can be friends again soon.

-c

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Newsweek: How Many MySpace Friends Is Too Many?
http://www.newsweek.com/id/137512&GT1=43001